Please Help

I hate to ask for help. I’m writing this in panic and desperation.
As is clear from this blog, I have been in trouble.
Despite the last offence being almost a year ago, various court dates have been adjourned due to my Community Mental Health Team refusing to complete a psychiatric report. Basically, I had made an unrelated complaint against the psychiatrist involved and instead of resolving this, the CMHT basically ignored this and refused to allocate me to another psychiatrist. My original court date was 21 August 2014. This was adjourned because there was no report. Following dates on 29 September, 24 November and 19 January also had to be adjourned for this reason.
I had appointments on 16 December and 10 February with said psychiatrist. He is consistently rude and patronising to me, and refused to speak to me about the report – in fact, stating that because I had stated I would prefer that another psychiatrist complete it, that he could not do so.
This is Kafkaesque. I requested a change of psychiatrist, this is refused, I (reluctantly, but having no choice) complied and the CMHT then tell me the
This simply psychological torture.
The CMHT have of course blamed me for this delay to the court. So magistrates will see me as being difficult and not co-operating.
I cannot express how desperate I am feeling.
As if having a criminal record didn’t make me feel desperate enough. What future do I have. None. Who is going to employ someone with a criminal record to work with vulnerable people? What is actually the point of trying to recover and rehabilitate myself, if I am just marked by everyone as a criminal for the rest of my life?
I am constantly suicidal. Death would be a release. What do I have left, now? Nothing. Nothing at all.
Please someone tell me. Is there anything I can do, anyone I can turn to?